just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can't put those talents on a resume
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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