I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
