They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it hurts more in the daytime
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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