Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
