so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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