she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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