He kissed a someone with a penis
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
