She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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