My first STD was from a foam party
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
