she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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