Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
