Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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