you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
