Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
