Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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