Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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