I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
