His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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