I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
