alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
