Having a random hookup so left but love u
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
