I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
