somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
