Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
