So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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