Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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