Three words: puerto rican gang bang
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
