ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i drank out of a bidet.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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