One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
