I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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