So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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