Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
