Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize