5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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