hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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