Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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