Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
