Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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