Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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