Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
