arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
