There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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