brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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