Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
if only i could text you this smell
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
