Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
