you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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