Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
