How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
