Whod you bang
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
