I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
