Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
