you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm both gender and math confused
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
