i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
