it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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