so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
