dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
