A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
