I wannas sexs uuuuu
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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