Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
