How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
