I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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